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 The
COB Party
Attention
all Vancouver Island residents. Are you tired of the fucking bullshit
we have to put up with from those Fuckers sitting as our MLA's?
It is about fucking time we got up off our asses and told them what
we think of their shity fucking job running this province. I mean
when you come down to it, is there really any difference between
the Cock-sucking Liberals, the brain dead fuckers in the NDP, or
any other party you can think of? In case you are still wondering,
the answer is NO. They are all the fucking same. They are all out
to line their own pockets at our expense.
Now I know you all agree with what I have to
say but are just too fucking scared or too stupid to say it yourselves.
The amount of emails I get will attest to this fact. So here is
what we should do. Vancouver Island should separate from Canada
and become our own country. Fuck! I will even VOLUNTEER to lead
the country for the fist five years. Here is my platform.
1. If you are living on the island the day
we separate
you are a citizen, if not too fucking bad.
2. NO DIRTY FUCKING HIPPIES ALLOWED - I don't mind hippies but you
must bathe at least twice a week.
3. The Rich WILL PAY MORE FUCKING TAXES THEN THE POOR. If they don't
like it they can fucking leave. No one will stop them from leaving
(after paying their emigration fees that is).
4. Prostitution WILL be legal but WILL be taxed - that way we keep
all taxes low.
5. POT will be our number one export and will also be legal and
taxed. We all know BC has the best fucking pot so lets make some
money from it. You don't have to smoke it but we will sell it.
6. NO FUCKING TABACO SMOKING. PERIOD.
7. Alcohol will be taxed heavily as to make it too expensive for
people to get drunk = less drunks = less fights after last call
= less property damage = LESS TAXES.
8. NO STUPID FUCKING AMERICANS ALLOWED. If you come to the ISLAND
and ask where the bridge to get back to the mainland is, that is
grounds for instant execution. You are too stupid to live anyways.
9. There will not be any special treatment for anyone. This includes
French, native or what have you. If you live here you are no different
then any one else.
10. Everyone WILL pull their own weight. There will be NO MOTHER
FUCKING WELFARE.
11. Christmas music WILL be outlawed in public places. This will
help us all accept the fact that there are other belief systems
out there.
12. NO RELIGION SHALL INTERFEER WITH THE STATE.
13. Gay marriages are going to be legal. If you have a problem with
this then FUCKING LEAVE NOW!!!!!
14. Child Molesters WILL BE PUT TO DEATH. No fucking appeals either.
15. Parents will have the right to discipline children. Spankings
are fine but you can not beat your kid, if you do YOU ANSWER TO
ME ASSHOLE, AND I GET TO BEAT YOU (maybe kids will learn some motherfucking
manners).
16. English will be the first and only official language in the
new country. You don't speak, read or write English? TOO FUCKING
BAD. LEARN IT OR LEAVE.
17. The whole criminal code will change to one of revenge. If you
rape someone they have the right to kill you after you are found
guilty. With DNA there can be no doubt anymore so don't try to argue.
18. There will be NO YOUNG OFFENDERS ACT. Parents will assume responsibility
for their kid's actions until they are 12 years old, then the kids
get treated like adults. If they are old enough to kill they are
old enough to stand trial and take the punishment.
19. Future leaders will be expected to lead by example and take
responsibility for their actions. NO EXCUSES.
20. Medical and dental will be supplied at a minimal charge. There
will be a state run medical and dental program in effect for everyone.
Now I realize that this may see a little harsh
but Fuck it. Those asshole sitting as MLA's have fucked us around
for long enough and given breaks to all their friends and business
associates, but I say NO MORE.
Why should they and the FUCKWADS in Ottawa get rich from our sweat?
It is time to start doing things for ourselves and let them all
know that we here on the Island have had enough of being screwed
over. If you don't think we are getting screwed then ask yourself
this. Why are all the tax dollars going to the mainland when the
largest tourist destination in BC is the Island? NOT FUCKING HONGCOUVER,
NOT FUCKING WHISTLER, BUT VANCOUVER ISLAND. Tofino has a winter
population of about 1400 (fourteen hundred) people. In the summer
that swells to anywhere between 22 000 (that is twenty-two THOUSAND)
and 25 000 people and most of those are TOURISTS. But yet the Pacific
Rim Highway is one of the worst in the province. Why? Because it
is on the island, that is why.
So come on join the Cranky Old Bastard Party
and start getting some results for your hard earned dollars. I am
not saying we can eliminate taxes but we can get better results
for those taxes.
Until next time I remain.
The Cranky Old Bastard,
The Cranky Old
Bastard.
Editor note: The views expressed here are strictly
the author's.
If you would like your opinion heard or maybe
ignored my choice then email me @ bastard@cityview.bc.ca
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